6 Types of Denial: How You Lied to Yourself Without Even Realizing It

There’s a phrase you’ve definitely heard (and maybe even said yourself): “I’m fine.”

There’s a phrase you’ve definitely heard (and maybe even said yourself): “I’m fine.”

Yeah, right. Only at that moment, you were staring at the ceiling, sipping your third coffee of the night, and trying to remember why you even set the alarm for the morning. And there it is – the magic of denial. Because, my friend, if you’re telling yourself everything’s fine while your inner world is falling apart, then it’s time to get familiar with the six types of lies you tell yourself.

Subconscious Blocking: I’m a good guy, so no one is suffering

You’re sure you’re a good guy. And really, you don’t yell, you don’t break dishes, you don’t drink every night – right? But if your girlfriend has been sad for three weeks, your friends have disappeared off the radar, and you can’t remember the last time you laughed genuinely… maybe you’ve hurt someone after all? This version doesn’t fit your self-image as a good guy, so you simply don’t notice it. You block it out. Like spam in your inbox. But this isn’t spam, it’s reality.

Genuine Forgetfulness: It’s not me, it’s my brain

"Honestly, I forgot." Maybe that’s really true – stress, lack of sleep, chronic caffeine. Or maybe your brain just protected you from uncomfortable information. Like the anniversary you forgot to buy flowers for. Or that you promised to go to the gym with a friend but stayed home with pizza and a TV show. Forgetfulness might be your shield. Not always intentional. But still a shield.

Narrative Defense: The story in which you’re not to blame

You’re telling a story where everything makes sense, and you’re almost the hero. But strangely, your truth doesn’t align with the facts. Why didn’t you submit the report on time? “The computer crashed.” Why did you forget to call your mom again? “It was a hell of a day.” You’re not lying. You’re just... editing reality a little. Like a director of your own movie. Only the audience is you. And you believe this version because it’s easier to live that way.

Trauma Denial: “That was a long time ago and wasn’t true”

You’ve been through some tough stuff. Someone left you. Someone betrayed you. Something didn’t work out. But you decided not to think about it. And that’s fine, why stir it up? The problem is, those things don’t go away. They just go into the basement of your psyche and hang out with other ghosts. And one day, they come back – in the form of irritability, insomnia, or panic attacks for no reason.

Survival Denial: “I can make it. Just a little longer”

You’re on the edge. You’re not sleeping properly, you’re stressed, everything annoys you, but you’re still carrying everything: work, responsibility, loans, relationships, the dog, the moral fabric of society. Because if you stop, you’ve lost. But that’s not true. You’re just denying that you’ve been burning out for a while. The strangest thing is that this denial can look like strength. But in reality, it’s a cry for help.

Proactive Denial: “Don’t tell me that, I don’t want to know”

You know that if you dig deeper, the whole structure of your life could crack. So… silence. You don’t ask why she doesn’t want to date you. You don’t read the messages from the friend who “just wants to talk.” You don’t look at your bank account. Because damn it, if you don’t know about it, it doesn’t exist, right?