How to Drink and Not Look Like an Idiot: Read Before the Corporate Event

Corporate events or team-building exercises sometimes end with someone getting fired. According to a special study by Superjob, 16% of companies have had to part ways with employees who lost control after drinking too much in front of colleagues.

Corporate events or team-building exercises sometimes end with someone getting fired. According to a special study by Superjob, 16% of companies have had to part ways with employees who lost control after drinking too much in front of colleagues.

Follow these ten rules if you’re unsure about drinking and fear repeating their fate.

Don’t Drink on an Empty Stomach

You already know this. It doesn’t matter if you think extra calories before the party are bad for your figure, or if you only have half a jar of pickles in your fridge: you need to start the day with a substantial meal.

You get drunk faster because alcohol is absorbed more quickly than your body can handle it.

If you drink a glass of wine on an empty stomach, the alcohol goes straight into your bloodstream and you’ll get drunk instantly.

But if your stomach has a sandwich with ham, the process will slow down, and you’ll be able to control the effects of alcohol. So eat up.

Know Your Limit

Gender, weight, physical condition, and body composition all affect how a pint of Stella Artois or a glass of champagne will affect you.

Women generally have less water and more subcutaneous fat than men, making them less tolerant of alcohol. Similarly, shorter people can handle less alcohol without consequences. Some ethnic groups handle alcohol better due to genetic traits.

For example, Europeans, with their historical peasant roots and grain-based spirits, have higher levels of enzymes that break down alcohol molecules, unlike Australian aborigines. So, assess your body’s capabilities honestly if you don’t want to end up in a tricky situation.

Don’t even try to drink as much as your 110-kilogram bodybuilder friend — it’s bound to end badly for you.

Don’t Forget to Drink Water

If your body is dehydrated, alcohol will be absorbed in higher concentrations than if you had an extra bottle of mineral water.

Lack of water is what leads to the horrors of a hangover the next morning.

The best strategy is to maintain a high level of water in your body. The simplest method is to drink a glass of water with each new alcoholic drink.

Just be sure to locate the bathroom beforehand.

Avoid Carbonated Drinks

You’ve heard the phrase “the champagne went to my head”? It’s likely describing the effects of those very bubbles.

Any carbonated or fizzy drink is absorbed faster than non-carbonated ones because the excess pressure from the gas speeds up the alcohol’s entry into the bloodstream.

If you plan to last all day, limit carbonated drinks to a minimum so the alcohol enters your system gradually, without any acceleration.

Don’t Skip the Snacks

In our country, where drinking strong alcohol is practically a national sport, it’s customary to chase each shot of vodka with something like a piece of smoked fish or a pickle (although science hasn’t proven that acid and salt neutralize alcohol).

Do the same, and also be friends with those who go to the tables to load up on snacks.

If you chase each alcoholic drink with food, the alcohol will enter your bloodstream much more slowly.

Be Careful with Your Drink Choice

Don’t rush, stay balanced, and take your drink selection seriously. If you’re drinking beer, opt for light lagers rather than craft or continental beers with high alcohol content.

If you’re drinking wine, avoid strong Australian Shiraz — go for a light Beaujolais (which has about four percent less alcohol), and if you’re having white wine, choose Riesling or Prosecco, which have lower alcohol content.

If you’re drinking strong spirits, order standard servings, not doubles. If the waiter refills your wine glass, finish each glass before getting a new one — then you’ll know exactly how much you’ve had.

Avoid drinks with high alcohol content on the label, and (of course) stay away from the strongest spirits like overproof rum or absinthe. Trust me, 68-degree absinthe won’t warm your heart.

Don’t Touch the Shots

No matter how tempting a “Jägerbomb” cocktail (a mix of energy drink and German Jägermeister) may seem, you probably don’t want your boss remembering how funny it was and the impromptu song you performed in their honor.

Caffeine Won’t Help You Sober Up

While caffeine might give you a superhero boost, if you order coffee hoping it will help you handle a few more shots, you’re probably already done for the day.

Espresso will increase your metabolism, making your body more sensitive to alcohol. That’s not what you want, is it?

Have a Taxi Number Handy

One of the most important aspects of drinking is knowing when to leave. If you have the skill of making a polite exit, now is the time to demonstrate it.

If you manage to slip away unnoticed, you won’t have to listen to pleas like “Oh, come on, just one more, you’re on a roll”; when everyone is tipsy, no one will track your departure time.

Thank your hosts, call a taxi, and head home with your dignity intact.

Hope for the Best, but Be Prepared for the Worst

Before going to bed, drink a large glass of water. Down to the bottom! If you’ve been dancing or the party was in the sun, take a rehydration salt packet to restore your salt balance.

You might also want to take a painkiller in advance if you suspect a hangover is coming.