Why Don't You Finish Things?

Noticed you often leave the toothpaste cap slightly open? Or leave the door ajar? Maybe plates in the kitchen wait for "later," and clothes live on a chair instead of a hanger? This might not just be forgetfulness but a signal that something interesting is happening in your mind. Let’s figure it out!

Noticed you often leave the toothpaste cap slightly open? Or leave the door ajar? Maybe plates in the kitchen wait for "later," and clothes live on a chair instead of a hanger? This might not just be forgetfulness but a signal that something interesting is happening in your mind. Let’s figure it out!

Your Brain Loves to Avoid

From the perspective of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), such habits might be linked to cognitive distortions. For example, you might "catastrophize" the situation: subconsciously fearing that finishing an action could lead to something negative. Imagine thinking that closing the door or washing the dishes is trivial, but deep down, there's anxiety: what if something goes wrong?

Or maybe you engage in "avoidance". It's a tricky behavior where you simply don’t want to face the potential unpleasant emotions of fully completing a task. Like: "Better leave it as is than deal with the consequences."

Emotions Take the Wheel

Think about your feelings when you leave something unfinished. It could be anxiety, fear of losing control, or even a strange sense that leaving something "undone" is a way to cope with inner discomfort. Your brain calms itself this way, but in reality, it only increases stress.

Rituals or Habits?

Sometimes, these "unfinished" acts turn into automatic behaviors. Your brain gets used to the idea that leaving things as they are makes life easier. It's like small rituals that temporarily bring relief. But the more of these "rituals" you have, the greater the overall tension grows.

Understand What Drives You

Here’s what you can do:

1. Track Your Thoughts. When you decide not to finish something, write down your feelings. What are you thinking? What emotions are you experiencing? This will help identify what's holding you back.
2. Start Small. Suppose you're washing dishes. Add one more plate to the routine. Gradually increase the "load." The key is to consciously complete the task.
3. Motivate Yourself. Set a timer for 5-10 minutes and try to finish the task within that time. Visible progress will be the best reward.

The Three States of "Self"

According to transactional analysis, we all have three "selves": Parent, Adult, and Child. These states determine our behavior:

• Parent — preserves rules and beliefs learned in childhood.
• Adult — rational and logical, relies on facts.
• Child — emotional, impulsive, guided by instincts.

When you leave things unfinished, your "Child Self" takes over. This may stem from childhood experiences. Perhaps, you weren’t allowed to finish tasks or associated completion with unpleasant emotions.

Time Is Your Currency

Think this doesn’t matter? Then remember: time is money. Every time you leave something for later, you're writing a "check" for your time. And no one will refund this "tax."

Your life is a bank of time. How do you manage your "currency"? Is it worth wasting it on constant "laters"? After all, experience, love, patience, faith, and mastery all require time.

• Experience: only by finishing things do you achieve real results.
• Love: it never comes instantly; it needs time.
• Patience: the ability to wait is a great virtue.
• Mastery: no talent becomes skill without effort and time.

Every unfinished task is a small loan from your time bank. Pay it back. Complete tasks because that's how you prove to yourself that you value your time.

Unfinished tasks are not just a habit. They hint that unresolved issues exist inside you. Start small, recognize your emotions, and learn to finish. And remember: time is the most valuable currency you have. Spend it wisely.

Ready to finish what you started? Then start with this article!