9 Things You Should Do If Someone Is Trying to Undermine Your Authority

When someone tries to undermine your authority, it’s easy to get frustrated and upset. But reacting emotionally to such situations only confirms the words of your opponent.

When someone tries to undermine your authority, it’s easy to get frustrated and upset. But reacting emotionally to such situations only confirms the words of your opponent.

There are several other ways to make it clear to those around you that their behavior is unacceptable, while maintaining your dignity and presenting yourself as a mature, intelligent, and confident person.

Stay Calm

Staying calm is fifty percent of the success when someone tries to undermine your authority. It makes your opponent question their ability to get under your skin and achieve their goal. Plus, in anger, you may say or do things you’ll regret later.

Instead of getting irritated and immediately responding to unpleasant comments about yourself, take a step back, and give yourself some time to cool off and gather your thoughts.

Confront the Person and Acknowledge What Happened

Address the situation directly with the person who created it. Don’t let it escalate into passive-aggressive behavior, revenge, or arrogance.

Approach the person who tried to undermine your authority and acknowledge that you figured out their intentions. Speak briefly and clearly: “I noticed you were contradicting me during the conversation and trying to make my opinion seem insignificant. Why?” Most people who try to make our lives difficult feel awkward in such moments. This might prompt them to reconsider their approach and not repeat such actions, and perhaps even apologize.

Don't Take It Personally

Often, attempts to undermine someone’s authority stem from the other person's insecurities. Their words and actions may seem like an attack, but it could just be unhealthy social behavior that they project unconsciously.

They try to assert themselves at your expense because they don’t like themselves or don’t believe they’re good enough. That's why you shouldn’t take their attacks to heart. Remember that others’ actions always say more about them than they do about you.

Set Clear Boundaries

Determine and set clear boundaries in communication to let the person know that you won’t allow anyone to undermine your authority. You can say: “In the future, I’d appreciate it if you address your concerns to me personally, rather than doing so in front of the whole team.”

If the person crosses these boundaries, remind them that their behavior is unacceptable. Also, have a backup plan in case things escalate, so you can stay composed and resolve the situation quickly.

Use Facts to Defend Yourself

People who try to undermine our authority aim to trigger our emotions. So, when defending yourself, speak the language of facts, not feelings.

First, this shows your attackers that their plan failed and that their words didn’t affect you. Second, objective evidence always carries more weight than trying to convince others to take your word for it.

Furthermore, if someone regularly tries to undermine you and you counter them with facts, others will take notice. Their trust will falter not in you, but in the person who attacks you.

Document Incidents

If a colleague poses a threat to your authority, document the incidents, including the time, place, and any witnesses. This will be useful if the situation worsens, or if management becomes involved because of their actions.

Speak Up Publicly If Necessary

Conflicts involving two people are best resolved privately, but sometimes that doesn’t work, and you have to speak up publicly.

If someone tries to undermine your authority in a group of friends or colleagues, respond immediately. Don’t let their false statements seem credible and go unchallenged. Correct them tactfully, but don’t engage in a confrontation.

If you don’t, others may believe their words, and it will be much harder to restore your reputation later.

Expose the Person’s Motives

The problem with comments that undermine authority is that they can seem like advice or a simple statement. To show the person that you understand their true motives, you need to bring them to light.

Here’s a simple example of a dialogue with someone who is trying to undermine your authority:

“Do you realize it’s thirty degrees today?”
“Yes, it’s a hot day. Why do you ask?”
“You’re wearing a long-sleeve shirt.”
“And? Is there something wrong with wearing a shirt with sleeves on a hot day?”

By responding this way, you show that you understand their intent and corner them.

You’re essentially saying, “Why are you criticizing me?” but without saying it directly. Now they’ll either have to come up with an excuse or admit their attempt to criticize you and then back off.

If they back off, congratulations—you’ve won. If they don’t, keep cornering them until they become so uncomfortable that they either try to end the conversation or change the subject.

Escalate the Issue if Necessary

If the offender continues to undermine your authority and shows no sign of changing their behavior, it may be time to escalate the issue.

For example, talk to your boss about a colleague who is overstepping boundaries, but be sure to bring evidence of their misconduct.

However, you should only do this after trying to resolve the situation yourself, so you don’t damage your reputation with your superiors.