When it comes to fears, survey results are strikingly consistent. People aren’t most afraid of death or terrorism — they’re terrified of public speaking. Why is the fear of speaking to an audience so powerful that it overshadows even life-threatening situations?
When it comes to fears, survey results are strikingly consistent. People aren’t most afraid of death or terrorism — they’re terrified of public speaking. Why is the fear of speaking to an audience so powerful that it overshadows even life-threatening situations?
It’s rooted in our psychology. Every man faces the challenge of appeasing the "big other" in his life. As children, this often means parents or other authority figures. But as we grow, this image shifts to a broader, more abstract audience — society. It feels like a massive crowd standing before us, expecting us to either prove our worth or fail miserably.
So, what do you do if you're an introvert, yet life demands that you step up, speak out, and persuade? From personal experience, I can say this: you can learn to overcome it. Here are two techniques that work for me:
Focus on helping, not on yourself.
I remind myself: people didn’t come to judge you. They came to gain something valuable. Maybe your knowledge or experience can help them overcome their struggles. It’s not about you; it’s about what you can offer them. By removing yourself from the center of attention in your own mind, you instantly ease unnecessary pressure.
Speak for your past.
This method is more complex and risky, but it’s powerful. I think about how I come from a family that had no privileges, no opportunities to speak up and be heard. My father, my grandfather — they were silenced by circumstances. But now I have the chance to speak, to carry their voice, their truth, their struggles. This gives me the strength to face even the largest audiences, because I am no longer speaking just for myself.
In essence, I’m fighting one complex (stage fright) with another — a sense of responsibility for my roots. It might not be the easiest path, but it works.
Every performance is not a fight against yourself, but a chance to share your experiences. Remember, you’re not alone: thousands of men around the world feel the same fears. But only those who find a way to push past their insecurities will take that crucial step forward. In the end, fear is just a symptom of your growth.
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