Unlove: When You're Not Seen

Imagine living next to someone who simply doesn’t notice you. They’re not angry, they don’t yell or argue, they just live as if you’re not there. Sometimes it feels like they’re in the room, but at the same time, they’re not. They eat the meal you prepared, but don’t even notice the effort you put in. It’s as if you’re just furniture. This is what we call unlove.

Imagine living next to someone who simply doesn’t notice you. They’re not angry, they don’t yell or argue, they just live as if you’re not there. Sometimes it feels like they’re in the room, but at the same time, they’re not. They eat the meal you prepared, but don’t even notice the effort you put in. It’s as if you’re just furniture. This is what we call unlove.

What is it really? It’s when you’re not just ignored, but essentially dismissed, made invisible. You have no right to emotions, requests, or expectations. Everything you feel becomes "nonsense," and no one is going to support you. Even if something deeply hurts you — it doesn’t matter. Adults should handle things on their own, right? Five years old is already a solid age, and by thirty-five — it’s time to be preparing for retirement.

Invisibility in Relationships

Unlove isn’t about arguments or fights. It’s much worse. It’s the absence of any reaction to your actions. No one will say “thank you” for dinner or give you a compliment on your appearance. But this isn’t because they hate you — no, hatred implies emotions. Unlove is the total absence of emotions. As if you simply don’t exist.

You begin to feel uncomfortable, like you can’t move or say anything, because no one cares. Your concerns are "nonsense," and your help is unnecessary. And the most terrifying thing is that it affects everyone: children, the elderly, adults. Even dogs can feel it because when no one gives attention or care, life seems to pass you by.

When Words Mean Nothing

The phrase "I do love you, just leave me alone!" sounds like a mockery, because there’s no real feeling behind it. It’s just words, hiding a complete lack of interest in you as a person. This is the moment when you realize that love isn’t just words; it’s actions, care, and attention.

Unlove breeds fear. Fear of making a mistake, of ruining something, of being disliked. It makes a person timid, awkward, and withdrawn. You fear every time you do something because in return, there will be no support, no criticism, just silence.

Is It Time to Leave?

If you have the strength to recognize that this is unlove, maybe it’s time to consider leaving. Even with minimal possessions, but leaving. Because unlove destroys slowly but surely. It drains your life energy, making you invisible even to yourself.

Leaving isn’t always a physical act. Sometimes, it’s enough to simply realize that you don’t have to live in the shadow of someone’s indifference. And that’s the first step to regaining the right to be noticed, to be loved, and — most importantly — to love yourself.