How to Be Mature in Relationships: The Paradigm of "Enough"

To sustain a relationship, it takes more than adult-sized shoes or a stable job with a good salary. Maturity in relationships is an entirely different matter.

To sustain a relationship, it takes more than adult-sized shoes or a stable job with a good salary. Maturity in relationships is an entirely different matter.

You might find your place in an office, a favorite bar, or a meeting room, but that doesn’t mean you’ve found your voice in intimacy with someone else.

Often, relationships begin with the attitude of "give." Give me beauty, give me money, give me security, give me proof. We expect our partner to bring inspiration, happiness, and meaning, not noticing how quickly this paradigm turns into disappointment. Sooner or later, both feel cheated: one wasn’t given enough attention, the other — enough recognition.

A phrase I came across online said: "If you have a partner, you’re not cold, hungry, hurt, or afraid." Sounds like the demands of an infant who hasn’t even learned to sit up yet. But an infant, as we know, cannot sustain an adult relationship.

Or take another example: a man complains in a group: "My wife no longer inspires me." Instantly, you picture a teenager upset with a gaming console he got for his last birthday. Sure, he can make instant noodles now, but he’s far from maturity.

Whenever I encounter stories of genuine closeness, I’m always struck by one thing: they are full of gratitude. Not for perfect looks or meeting expectations, but for generosity, patience, and simple, human warmth.

This is a completely different paradigm — the paradigm of "enough." If something is missing, you go and find it for both of you. Instead of demanding or resenting, you create. In such a relationship, you’re not a consumer but a co-creator.

That’s what a truly mature approach to relationships looks like. Not "give" or "prove," but "let’s build this together." Because only then can you create something that won’t crumble at the first hit from life.