There is a special genre of office life: the meeting where nothing gets decided, but attendance is mandatory. The agenda is vague, the meaning feels like it belongs to another dimension, and you’re sitting there thinking: “I could be anywhere else, but I’m here.”
Your phone won’t save you — it’s too obvious. And boredom, as we know, is excellent at staring right back at you. So you’re left with the only real survival tool: imagination.
Here are 12 ways to get through it with minimal psychological damage and maximum internal humor.
Office stylist
Mentally dress up your colleagues: one as a Viking, another as a TV host, another as a crime drama character. The hardest part is not laughing when your manager suddenly becomes a pirate.
Boredom bingo
Draw a grid in your notebook and fill it with phrases like:
- “align the teams”
- “boost synergy”
- “let’s schedule another meeting”
First one to think “this is ridiculous” wins.
Corporate translator
Translate everything into human language:
- “process optimization” = “we’re doing the same thing, just cheaper”
- “strategic direction” = “we don’t actually know yet”
Office TV series
Assign roles: main character (you, obviously), KPI antagonist, the person who talks a lot but says nothing, and the mysterious silent one who unsettles everyone.
Observation agent
Watch people like a spy: gestures, facial expressions, reactions. Within minutes, you’ll know who’s tired, who’s lying, and who’s mentally already on vacation.
Author’s stage directions
Add mental annotations:
- “John (confident without evidence) proposes a revolutionary idea”
- “Sarah (regretting being here) nods”
Meme director
Imagine presenting this meeting as a series of memes. Spoiler: half the slides would just say “why am I here?” faces.
Internal news broadcast
Mental commentary:
“Another meeting concludes without results. No casualties reported, except common sense.”
Marks of sanity
Every time the conversation loops back to the same point, make a mental tally. By the end, you’ll have an archaeological record of nonsense.
Buzzword counting game
Count how many times you hear “basically,” “sort of,” “like.” Advanced mode: mental penalty shot per repetition.
The weakest link
After each round of discussion, mentally eliminate the person who contributed the least. Sometimes the choice is obvious within the first minute.
Find an ally
Look for someone who has already mentally quit the meeting. One glance is enough — you’re now survival partners.
