Gaslighting and Abuse: How to Recognize and What to Do

In today’s world, where basic human needs like food, shelter, and clothing are no longer unattainable luxuries, psychological comfort takes center stage. People are increasingly reflecting on how interactions with others affect their mental well-being. Terms like "abuse" and "gaslighting" have become part of everyday language, but do we always understand their true meaning? Let’s break it down.

In today’s world, where basic human needs like food, shelter, and clothing are no longer unattainable luxuries, psychological comfort takes center stage. People are increasingly reflecting on how interactions with others affect their mental well-being. Terms like "abuse" and "gaslighting" have become part of everyday language, but do we always understand their true meaning? Let’s break it down.

What are Abuse and Gaslighting?

Abuse (from the English word abuse) is a form of violence that can manifest physically, emotionally, psychologically, or financially. It involves deliberately suppressing another person to achieve personal goals. Abuse is destructive because it undermines self-esteem and robs individuals of control over their lives.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse. It is manipulation aimed at making the victim doubt their sanity, perception of reality, or even memory. The term comes from the play Gaslight, where the protagonist convinces his wife that she is losing her mind while he secretly manipulates the environment.

Examples of Gaslighting:

• Constantly denying actions or words: "I never said that. You're imagining things!"
• Undermining feelings: "You're overreacting. It's just a joke."
• Suggesting inadequacy: "Maybe you should see a doctor. Something’s wrong with your memory."

Why are these terms so widespread?

As mental health awareness grows, people increasingly discuss all forms of abuse. However, these discussions sometimes lead to an exaggeration of concepts. Any strict criticism, demand, or conflict may be labeled as abuse, even when it lacks malicious intent.

We live in a competitive society where interactions often involve conflicts of interest. Parenting, career building, and social life require pressure and persuasion. But any pressure can feel like violence, and the line between constructive motivation and destructive abuse often becomes blurred.

How to distinguish toxic behavior from constructive criticism?

1. Purpose of interaction: Healthy criticism aims to improve, educate, or resolve an issue. Abuse seeks to dominate and control.
   
   
2. Emotional aftermath: Constructive criticism, though unpleasant, can leave one inspired. Abuse results in helplessness and diminished self-worth.
   
   
3. Frequency: Isolated conflicts are not abuse. Continuous humiliation is a clear sign of toxicity.

Why do people stay in abusive relationships?

• Fear of loneliness: Many prefer toxic relationships over being alone.
  
  
• Financial dependence: Particularly common in families where one partner controls the finances.
  
  
• Manipulation: Abusers convince victims they are unworthy or incapable of better.
  
  
• Social pressure: Society often judges those who choose to leave, especially marriages.

How to combat abuse and gaslighting?

1. Acknowledge the problem: Recognize that you are a victim of toxic behavior. Trust your feelings—if interactions always leave you feeling bad, it’s a red flag.
   
   
2. Maintain independence: Emotional and financial independence can safeguard against total dependence on the abuser.
   
   
3. Set clear boundaries: Saying "no" is a crucial skill to protect your interests.
   
   
4. Seek help: Talk to loved ones, consult a therapist, or join support groups.

Life without violence: Myth or reality?

Eliminating all forms of violence in society is unrealistic. Every social structure—from families to governments—operates on certain pressures and hierarchies. However, these pressures must remain reasonable. If violence enhances productivity or achieves meaningful goals, it may be justifiable. But when it destroys, it must be opposed.

The key question is why we tolerate pressure or make compromises. If the goal is worth it, the effort is justified. But if you sacrifice comfort for toxic relationships or others’ expectations, it may be time to reassess your priorities.

Abuse and gaslighting are not just buzzwords—they are real issues that can destroy lives. At the same time, it’s important not to see every conflict as toxic. Learn to distinguish constructive criticism from manipulation, maintain emotional resilience, and remember: you have the right to choose who and how you interact with. Ultimately, your life is your responsibility—not a battleground for someone else’s approval.