Drink Like a King, Don't Suffer Like a Peasant: 8 Hangover Hacks

A hangover is basically the tax you pay for having fun. But smart people don’t pay it — they use their brains before they turn up the booze. You can lie under a blanket with a pounding headache like a headless knight, or you can be the clever guy who gave the hangover no chance.

A hangover is basically the tax you pay for having fun. But smart people don’t pay it — they use their brains before they turn up the booze. You can lie under a blanket with a pounding headache like a headless knight, or you can be the clever guy who gave the hangover no chance. Your call, bro. Here are eight simple but brilliant rules for drinking like a human being — not a wreck.

Eat First, Thank Yourself Later

Think drinking on an empty stomach is “manly”? Think again. A protein-packed snack before the party is a bulletproof vest for your liver. Omelets, meat, cheese — great choices. They slow down alcohol absorption and extend the fun phase without the hellish aftermath. But stay alert: food gets digested, protection weakens. So snack before and during the night!

Bubbles Are the Enemy of Fun

Cocktails with soda? Sounds harmless, but those bubbles are your worst enemy. They turbo-charge alcohol into your bloodstream. First, you're Superman — next morning, you're a soggy vegetable. If you're mixing, go for juice or still water instead. Don’t be that guy who ordered a rum and coke and ended up cursing the universe.

Ice Is Your Ally

Alcohol dries you out like the Sahara. Dehydration = hangover. The fix? Ice in your glass and water between drinks. One drink, three sips of water — repeat like a mantra. And when you get home: chug at least two glasses of water. Morning You will love Night You for it.

Snacks Aren’t Just for Taste

Skip the chips, spicy stuff, and mushrooms — they just stress your stomach. Go for light, protein-rich snacks like cheese, shrimp, fruits, or veggies. That’s your armor. The fuller you are, the better you'll feel in the morning. Parties come and go, but you only have one liver.

Don’t Mix if You Don’t Know How

There’s a myth: “Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.” Truth is, dark alcohols (bourbon, red wine, tequila) hit harder — they contain more congeners. Choose gin, vodka, white wine, or light rum — they’re gentler. And if you do mix, start strong and end light. That way your body can keep up instead of drowning in booze.

Keep Count or Tap Out

Lose count of shots, lose your dignity. Simple fix: use your phone notes to track drinks. It’s an easy way to slow down before it’s too late. And remember: “I’m still sober” doesn’t count when cocktail number five’s in your hand.

De-Stress Before the Party

You're not James Bond. Drinking to calm down? Bad idea. Take a walk, breathe deep, shake off the stress before you start sipping. Alcohol should be for fun — not for fixing your mood. The real party starts when you are in control, not the bottle.

Sleep Is Your Superpower

Sleep-deprived? Not even holy electrolytes can save you. Rest up before and after drinking. Came home late? Sleep in a bit — just don’t turn into a zombie. 7–8 hours and you’re back in action. Sleep mask, curtains closed, window cracked, water nearby — boom, you're a champion.