How to Survive a Breakup: A Guide for Men

Breaking up is always painful. It could be disappointment, betrayal, or just incompatibility — whatever the reason, this process is never easy. Some may fall into depression, others experience bursts of anger, and sometimes physical symptoms like a fever may even appear. Although everyone handles breakups differently, there are ways to reduce emotional damage and recover faster.

Breaking up is always painful. It could be disappointment, betrayal, or just incompatibility — whatever the reason, this process is never easy. Some may fall into depression, others experience bursts of anger, and sometimes physical symptoms like a fever may even appear. Although everyone handles breakups differently, there are ways to reduce emotional damage and recover faster.

Defense Mechanisms: Why Are They Important?

The human psyche is a complex mechanism that tries to protect us from pain and stress. However, not all coping methods are equally helpful. Sometimes our mind uses tactics that only prolong the recovery process. To deal with a breakup, it’s crucial to recognize your emotions and understand which defense mechanisms have activated for you.

Denial: The First Stage

You may not believe that the relationship has ended. It feels like a temporary break, and soon everything will go back to normal. You continue to think about your ex, hoping that things can be fixed. But the reality is, the longer you refuse to accept the end of the relationship, the harder it will be to move forward.

What to do: Stop hoping for accidental meetings and stop following your ex on social media. Instead, focus on things you never had time for: sports, hobbies, or meeting new people. The sooner you accept the breakup, the easier it will be to let go of the past.

Repression: Ignoring the Pain

This mechanism makes you pretend that everything is fine. It seems like you’ve forgotten about the breakup and are building a new future without addressing old mistakes. But the problem is, repression robs you of the opportunity to learn from the past.

What to do: Admit to yourself that you’re hurting. Talk to a close friend or write down your thoughts in a journal. This will not only help release negativity but also prepare you for new relationships by avoiding previous mistakes.

Devaluation: The Easy Way Out, but with Consequences

When you start seeing only flaws in your ex after the breakup, this is the mechanism of devaluation. It may ease the pain, but at the same time, it robs you of the opportunity to maintain friendly relations in the future.

What to do: Don’t let resentment cloud your good memories. Find other ways to cope with stress — immerse yourself in work or plan a trip. Change your surroundings, and with new experiences, the pain of the breakup will fade faster.

When to Seek Help

Sometimes it’s hard to cope with a breakup without professional help. If your emotional state worsens, and apathy or depression become constant, it’s best to seek a therapist. A specialist will help you look at the situation differently and give advice on how to regain your inner balance faster.

Breaking up is always stressful, but how long you stay in this state is up to you. Acceptance, expressing your emotions, and self-work will help you recover and prepare for new relationships. Don’t be afraid to seek support from loved ones or professionals — this is not a sign of weakness, but a way to get back to normal life faster.