The Art of Intimacy in the Era of New Ethics: Why Love and Friendship Are No Longer the Same

Recent changes in social ethics are challenging many aspects that once seemed unshakable. Romance, love, and friendship — these elements of human relationships, which were once built on mutual overcoming of boundaries, on the pursuit of understanding and intimacy, suddenly find themselves under the scrutiny of new ethics that seeks absolute transparency, control, and safety. But where will this lead? Will we lose something important in our attempts to make the world more predictable and manageable?

Recent changes in social ethics are challenging many aspects that once seemed unshakable. Romance, love, and friendship — these elements of human relationships, which were once built on mutual overcoming of boundaries, on the pursuit of understanding and intimacy, suddenly find themselves under the scrutiny of new ethics that seeks absolute transparency, control, and safety. But where will this lead? Will we lose something important in our attempts to make the world more predictable and manageable?

Traditionally, relationships — whether friendship or love — have always been more than just harmonious coexistence between two personalities. They have always been a battlefield where interests and desires clash, where personal boundaries are shattered in the pursuit of deep intimacy. True intimacy, in essence, is a constant tension where emotions and intuition play a key role. And in this game, as in war, there are no clear rules — only complex, unbalanced power dynamics.

However, the new ethics offers a different perspective. It insists that any violation of boundaries, be it emotional or physical, is a form of violence that must be eradicated. Dialogue, touch, even the mere fact of unsanctioned emotional contact can be grounds for accusations. In this new world, there is no place for spontaneity and conflict, which were once an integral part of any living interaction. Anything that cannot be subjected to structured control and transparency becomes suspicious and undesirable.

But once the conflict disappears, so does the possibility of true intimacy. For intimacy is not just joy and warmth, but also struggle and opposition. In the history of humanity, there have been times when the relationship between a student and a teacher or comrades in a cause became deeply intimate precisely because of this struggle. Love could bind collectives, while hatred could destroy them. Students could admire their teachers but could also reject them, engaging in open warfare, and in this opposition, new understanding and new intimacy were born.

The new ethics seeks to rid us of such "dangerous" connections. It introduces strict norms that turn human relationships into mechanical interactions devoid of emotions and spontaneity. Creativity is replaced by automatism, where there is no room for intuition and the living flow of the irrational. Even sexuality, despite its supposed freedom, is confined to rigid boundaries where interaction between people becomes safe but cold and mechanical, devoid of passion and spontaneity.

We are faced with a paradox: the pursuit of a safe and controlled world leads to the loss of something more important — the living, emotional, and irrational core that has always been the driving force of true human connections. In our quest for new norms, we risk losing the very possibility of deep intimacy, where emotions and intuition play a key role.

So, should we strive for a world where everything is predictable and safe? Or is it better to preserve in relationships that same irrationality and conflict that make us truly alive? The answer to this question is perhaps something each of us must find for ourselves. But one thing is clear: as soon as the struggle disappears, the possibility of genuine intimacy disappears as well.