How to Stop Fighting with Yourself: The Art of Kind Observation

Modern life is full of stress and tension. Each of us encounters situations when our emotional state leaves much to be desired: whether it’s a tough workday, relationship issues, or just fatigue from daily routines. In such moments, many of us strive to find the “right” way to cope with our emotions, often resorting to tense efforts and self-inflicted strain. However, as practice shows, such attempts can only worsen our emotional state. Let’s explore why this happens and how to better approach our feelings.

Modern life is full of stress and tension. Each of us encounters situations when our emotional state leaves much to be desired: whether it’s a tough workday, relationship issues, or just fatigue from daily routines. In such moments, many of us strive to find the “right” way to cope with our emotions, often resorting to tense efforts and self-inflicted strain. However, as practice shows, such attempts can only worsen our emotional state. Let’s explore why this happens and how to better approach our feelings.

The Problem of Overexertion

When we try our hardest to “overcome” negative emotions, to make them disappear as quickly as possible, we often lose sight of the fact that such behavior only increases our internal tension. Instead of getting rid of the problem, we deepen it, becoming entangled in an endless cycle of rationalization and obsessive thoughts.

Imagine trying to stop a river with your bare hands. The more effort you exert, the stronger the flow. The same occurs with our emotions. When we desperately try to “force ourselves” to be happy or to eliminate sadness, we create a barrier that prevents us from feeling authentic.

Observation — The Key to Understanding

The secret is that instead of fighting with ourselves, it is much more beneficial to learn to observe our emotions attentively and kindly. This is not as easy as it seems, but this approach helps reduce emotional tension. By listening to our body and soul, we begin to recognize our true feelings and understand what is really happening within us.

For instance, if you feel anxious, instead of trying to suppress it, allow yourself to feel it. What exactly triggers this state? Perhaps you need more time to rest or are dissatisfied with your relationships? The more you explore your emotions, the less you will attempt to “overcome” them, and the freer you will feel.

Accepting Yourself

It is essential to understand that reducing emotional tension is not an instantaneous process. It is a skill that requires time and practice. Some men may perceive their dependence on emotions as humiliation, but in reality, it is entirely normal. Self-acceptance is the first step toward genuine inner freedom.

Try not to judge yourself for your feelings. Every emotion we experience is part of our experience, and thus part of who we are. Allow yourself to be vulnerable; don’t fear showing your weaknesses. This will only strengthen your personality and make you a more complete individual.

So, instead of fighting with yourself and trying your hardest to eliminate negative emotions, strive to learn the art of kind observation. This will not only reduce your level of emotional tension but also help you become a more confident and harmonious person.

Remember that you are not only your emotions, but also the experiences you have lived through. It is in accepting this experience that your strength lies.