Men often believe they are special. That if someone has treated others poorly, they will somehow behave differently with them. It’s tempting to think you can be the exception, prove your uniqueness, and earn special treatment. But this is a dangerous illusion.
Seneca and Nero: A Lesson Worth Learning
A story from Ancient Rome illustrates this clearly: what a person did to others, they will do to you. Tacitus describes the moment when the philosopher Seneca was forced to take his own life by the order of Nero. The “mercy” of the execution lay in the fact that Seneca was allowed to do it himself.
Seneca, an old man, slapped his forehead in disbelief: “What was I expecting? Foolish to hope for anything different.” Nero had already killed his mother, brother, and wife. He even presented the head of his wife as a wedding gift to another woman. So logically, the teacher was next. Patterns of behavior rarely change.
The Illusion of Being the Exception
Seneca hoped, in some secret corner of his mind, that he would be spared. He was a teacher, an elder, supposedly special. But the illusion shattered against harsh reality. This is a crucial lesson for us all: people will treat you the same way they treat others. If someone betrays, slanders, deceives, or abandons others, they will do the same to you. It's only a matter of time.
Men and Women: Applying the Lesson to Relationships
In the context of romantic relationships, this principle is especially relevant. If a woman has a history of manipulating men, lying, or using them for her gain, you won’t be the exception. The same applies to men: if a man has a pattern of deceit, neglect, or betrayal, he is likely to repeat it.
Men must pay attention to early warning signs. If a partner has shown selfishness, jealousy, or inability to communicate honestly with others, expecting otherwise from them is naive. Seneca’s story reminds us that hoping to be the “special one” often leads to disappointment.
Look at your partner’s past relationships: how they ended things, whom they betrayed or ignored. This provides a clear insight into what to expect. Don’t wait until the illusion collapses in pain and disappointment.
Emotional Intelligence and Choice
The wisdom here isn’t about being suspicious all the time; it’s about developing emotional intelligence and observing behavioral patterns. This allows you to choose partners who are genuinely capable of honest and mature relationships. Your task isn’t to change someone, but to see them as they are and make decisions about trust based on facts.
A man who wants to live consciously must shed the illusion that he can be an exception in someone else’s script. Judge actions, not words. Don’t trust promises blindly; observe behavior. In romantic relationships, this is critical: look at how the person treated others, and you’ll know what to expect. The illusion of exceptions destroys trust and prevents the building of healthy, mature relationships.
What This Article Teaches Us
Question: Why shouldn’t we expect to be treated differently than others?
Answer: Human behavior tends to repeat patterns. Those who have betrayed, deceived, or abandoned others are likely to do it again.
Question: How does this apply to romantic relationships?
Answer: If a partner has a history of manipulation, neglect, or dishonesty, it’s highly likely they will repeat these actions with you.
Question: How can you assess someone’s character before serious commitment?
Answer: Look at their past relationships: how they ended things, how they treated others, and this will reveal their true patterns and tendencies.
Question: How can you avoid disappointment and build healthy relationships?
Answer: Develop emotional intelligence, observe behavior patterns, and make decisions based on actions rather than promises or words.
Question: What is the key takeaway?
Answer: The illusion of being an exception is a trap. Watch actions, not words, and choose partners consciously for honest and mature relationships.
